‘The Rules’ for Men

 

Women are not sex objects and if you are looking for advice on how to seduce women who you don’t really care about, you in the wrong place! I happen to know however that most men would really prefer a woman who really knows and likes him, someone who is fun and nice to have around and who he can do things together with and who sex is easy and fun with too. I think a lot of men want a family too, but it is very daunting the idea of being head of the house and responsible for your family’s future and success isn’t it? So here are some ‘rules’ I think you will do well to follow if you want a ‘happily ever after romance’.


  1. 1.Have solid goals that you work on every day and choose those goals wisely and make sure they include your long term financial security. There is nothing masculine about being irresponsible or poor.


  3. 2.Make sure however that your goals leave time for the family that you have or that you want. Full time employment is not always the best option for financial freedom these days. Learn about investing in rental properties or even vending machines that produce ‘leveraged’ income. Save and put money into these kind of investments that will pay returns over and over again and give you more freedom in the future. Work for money to invest rather than money to spend and spend only what comes in from your investments on luxuries, and in the future you will be rich in time and not just money.


  5. 3.Do not link your identity with your job. How you make money is a responsibility that needs attention in your life but it is not who you are. Plan on being an honest man, a good husband and good father first.


  7. 4.Learn to identify your emotions and learn what they are telling you. You will look foolish to women if you say you are not angry when obviously you are. Doing this work will pay you enormous dividends. Our site at www.thelovesafetynet.com will help you with this. Also look at picture cards (called empathy cards) showing what kind of expressions people have on their face when they are feeling different emotions and you will learn to be emotionally articulate and valued by your lover instead of being a emotionally clumsy hulk.


  9. 5.Many people today have not been parented to full maturity. If the woman you love is irresponsible or insensitive or unkind, punishing her by withdrawing your love will not change this. You will need to first check that you do not have gaps in your own maturity (our gap finder exercise in ‘The Love Safety Net Workbook’ will help with this) and then work on small challenges you can set her to start mastering these skills, once you have a strong attachment and together you have built trust. This may be especially important when you first have children, because thinking that motherhood just comes naturally to women is a mistake. She will need support in the big changes this will make to her life and you being loving and supportive and offering (small) challenges in a way where you show that you believe in her and that you are behind her will work wonders in keeping her warm to you and in keeping her close.


  11. 6.Attachment (and trust) are built slowly over time and do not come from conversations about your relationship or simply from sex. They come from regularly showing your girl she is safe with you and that you like having her around. They are also built by small rituals like flowers and gifts with a message or photo of you together inside and from you showing that you love her from the twinkle in your eye the tone of your voice.


  13. 7.It will help you to consider carefully your choice of friends. Take time to meet and introduce yourself to men in your community with similar interests who represent the values you would like your family to live by. This community around you, if well chosen, will be of enormous benefit to you both. This is not about the peers who you party with. It is about you both having connections with older and more solid people than yourselves in your community who will add interest to your lives and help you both in the process of ‘growing up’ (which is something most of us in this day and age are still working on!). These men will be especially helpful if your wife or kids get ‘off track’ in their lives with alcohol, gambling, porn or drugs.


  15. 8.Know how to end conversations that are unproductive if you don’t like where they are going, but first recognize your girl’s emotion and validate it. “I see that you feel frustrated, but I don’t really like where this is going now. I promise I will think about what you have said in the next day or two (and do) but now I am tired and I need to get some sleep.”


  17. 9.Don’t make excuses for your own bad behaviour. Be a good example and take care of yourself and if you have addictions tackle them. If you blame your bad behaviour on her bad behaviour where will it end?


  19. 10. Learn to cook and clean and take care of yourself. Keep a house on your own for at least a year if you can. There is nothing manly about being dependent on a woman to do all of the household chores for you. You are not a child, you are a man! If you don’t do your share around the house and pull your own weight with the unpaid work that needs doing to keep a living space nice (and have clean clothes to wear), the woman in your life will come to either despise or dominate you and I am sure neither of these is where you want to be. Chores are habits which means that you do them DAILY, and after a while you wont even think about ding them.


  21. 11. Being Married, engaged or ‘going steady’ means very little in terms of security these days. You will only keep a woman faithful and close if you are aware of how you make her feel. This does not mean that you should live to please her, instead it means to live by your own values and goals, but watch your tone of voice and whether you act approving or disapproving of her as a person (separate from her behaviour) when she is around you. Showing her she is accepted by you and special (rather than criticism) will help you bring out her best!


  23. 12. Learn about woman and sex in my eBook on the rules for getting good with girls, because what you don’t understand may hurt you! What satisfies women sexually is very different from you and trust me - you want to get this right!








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© MODPOD 2009