‘The Rules’ for Mending a Broken Heart

 
 

If you have a broken heart I really feel for you. It is a terrible place to be and I know that my suggestions here will help you if you try them.


  1. 1.There really are more fish in the sea, but learning better relationship skills for your next splash out in the water will help you gain confidence and improve your chances of relationship success. Please check out our eBooks and audio products for this.


  3. 2.It only hurts until you accept the loss. Once you accept the loss and feel the grief, the hurt will pass and you will begin to think about moving on.


  5. 3.We often mask the sadness of a loss with anger and fear. Work through the anger until you find the fear, then work through the fear until you can face the loss. Once you face the loss squarely and accept it, you will at last find release.


  7. 4.Do not brush away the pain or do things to forget (and crying because you feel sorry for yourself is not facing the loss either). Taking the time to work through step 3 will mean that you have no baggage to carry with you into the future and no memories you need to try and suppress with alcohol, drugs or unhealthy pastimes. Take the time to grieve and explore all the levels of your feelings. Above fear and anger may also be low self-worth and also anxiety or worry. So start where ever you are and work deeper. Acknowledge your worry and let it unwind. Acknowledge your low self-worth (and the bad things people might have said about you) and then let that slide off your shoulders. Then acknowledge your anger and let it burn out and finally your fear and then set it free, until at last you can squarely face and accept your loss and emptiness and grief. Only then can this emptiness be made whole and you be set free.


The above is not a passage to read but something to do. Give it a try. You can see this process with children very easily. Say my daughter wants an ice cream and I say she can’t have one. First she may be angry with me and then when this passes she may be scared that the ice cream truck might drive away. It is only when she really acknowledges that she really wanted that ice cream and she is not going to have it that the tears come, but then she can also move on and say OK well lets go home instead and I will play with my dolls. As adults and children alike it is important that we face squarely that we cannot always have what we want.


I know your loss is probably much more serious than an ice cream and I do not want to trivialize it, but the process is the same. If we are to live until we are old many people will be lost to us in our lives and it is important we learn to accept this and learn this healthy way to grieve.







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© MODPOD 2009